Surprise #2

Together again!Collage of pictures of my kids - on my wall next to my bed.

Guess what my incredibly fabulous husband did this evening???

He drove 2 hours from Beaumont to Katy to pick up Madison, then drove 45 minutes to the hospital in Houston and SURPRISED ME!!!

He had it all arranged the night prior...All along, I thought Tana was bringing Madison up to see me late this afternoon. I got a scheduled call from Tana telling me when the door opens, to call Madison's name. The door opened a second later, I called Madison's name, and she walked in like a big girl...with Daddy behind her! Of course, I immediately began crying tears of happiness upon seeing them both. Once again, my heart melted.

We enjoyed the evening eating dinner together and watching Madison play around my room. It felt more wonderful than I can describe to be together again...doing our former normal routine...which at one time would have seemed very mundane and typical...just eating dinner together...except this time, we just kept looking at each other, not taking a SECOND of it for granted. Oh, how we miss those "normal, boring nights at home"!

My heart hurts for little Madison. She's begun acting out a bit lately, in ways that are extremely abnormal for her. She has been crying off and on during the day and has been clingy, just wanting to be held,, according to Tana. Usually, she is very independent and does not like to cuddle. Tonight, whenever anyone other than me and Mark came into the room (nurses, cleaning staff, etc), Madison would come to me at the bed and throw her arms around my neck, not allowing me to let go. She actually seemed "scared" to us. Well, I would think this makes perfect sense for her to act like this. I know she will be fine, and this is just temporary. But it breaks my heart to see her like this. Nothing - not ONE thing - in her life now is familiar. Neither Mommy or Daddy are with her, she's been taken care of by people she's not familiar with, sleeping environment is different, sleep schedule different, no longer "only child", etc. She just doesn't understand what's going on, but she's done extremely well, overall. Soon, it will be good for her to get back to her own home.

Naturally, the visit needed to come to an end. I always dread that time. My throat closes, eyes water, and my heart weighs a ton. I watch Madison's every move, studying her, as if trying to permanently etch the final moments in my mind...only wishing time would stand still. I hold Madison on my bed, close my eyes and squeeze her tight. I make sure she hears me tell her how special she is and how much Mommy loves her. I tell her to be a brave, good girl this week. And soon, we will all be together, again.

THANK YOU...

Thank you, Dad and Mom, The Camou family, Shelley and Trista, and The Arnold Family!

Thank you, Celia and Craig!
Thank you, Dixon and Elaine!

Surprise # 1

Yes, that is right...today has been a GREAT day! Not only because Hunter's heart has appeared strong and there have been only a few contractions...but because I received several incredible surprises.

Surprise #1:

This morning, Jamie, my good friend/neighbor in Beaumont (of whom I've spoken often) came to visit me with her sweet daughter, Avery. She was a site to see when walking through my door: Avery on Jamie's chest in a Baby Bjorn, gift bags hanging on her shoulders, and a stroller carting a giant basket full of fabulous gifts, goodies and treats for me from all of our wonderful neighbors in Beaumont! Seriously, I can't even describe it. I am sure that no one in the hospital has received such lavish gift baskets and gifts. My mouth dropped to the floor. I was immediately humbled and felt a blanket of love, care and support immediately rush over me.

I am more than grateful...and to think these families have only known us for five short months! And love us this much already. We would absolutely do the same for them, that's what friends do!

There were so many fantastic and creative items included: Yankee Candles with a candle warmer (good thinking, since I can't actually burn the candles) to make my room smell nice, lotions, slippers, maternity/nursing pajamas, about 2 dozen DVD's, about a dozen books, magazines, CHOCOLATE, game book, salty snacks, nail polish and other toiletries, Tummy Honey Butter, devotional book, decorative sign, and many cards. My friend, Chris, from our playgroup and pre-school, sent a special gift for Madison, too! It touched my heart. Her family gave Madison her very own Doctor's Kit, made by Parents Magazine especially for her age.

Do I have some great neighbors, or what? Jamie, Avery and I had a fabulous visit together...Avery dined on lunch and played while Jamie and I chatted along. So much fun.

I will forever be grateful.

Here is a picture I snapped with my cell phone (I won't be able to upload pics from my good camera until this weekend) after opening everything...everything was tied with pretty bows, etc.

Doctor's Update 10/22

Highlights from doctors:
- Doctor's Orders for Patient, written on my chart: "Stay Pregnant"
- Doctor's Orders for Nurses, written on my chart: "Keep Pregnant"
- Just lie here for two more weeks and then they'll assess several things to see if stable enough to resume strict bedrest from home. May have to stay here for at least another month, however. Maybe longer. We just have to take it week by week.
- If no negative activity in the uterus, then no plans to go ahead and take the baby. So far, so good.
- Basically, I am to "lead as boring of a life as possible for the next two to four weeks." (Ok, well get me some sand, and ocean and a cocktail and we're talking!) No activity and no drama. Try to reduce any stress on the cervix. Did you know that the amount of gravity the uterus places on the cervix is the same no matter if you're walking through the mall or sitting in a chair? Therefore...I'm laying down a lot.
- My IV's got removed today!! I don't have to drag around my gigantic IV pole everywhere I go (which aren't too many places, but still annoying just to drag into the restroom or shower).

My heart overflows

Tana graciously brought Madison up to see me this morning. (When I get my own laptop this weekend, I'll post pictures.) When they opened the door, my heart grew a hundred-fold. No one can make you smile more than your kids, huh? (Well, given the situation, I know they can drive you crazy as well...)

I was on the monitor with Hunter, so I couldn't immediately hold her. But I got to kiss and hug her quickly. Immediately, she beamed with a huge grin and laughed and clapped her hands. It was great. And right away, she got down from my bed to pick the fresh flowers (not in a garden, but out of my flower vases) and played and played with a big helium balloon. I relished in watching her in her own little world.

Before long, they had to go. I'm always so grateful and happy to see her, but the visits are bittersweet knowing Madison will have to leave. I held Madison in my bed, kissed both of her cheeks, and tickled her belly. We gave eskimo kisses and I gave her a butterfly kiss, which she just loves. I squeezed her with all my might. I deeply inhaled her sweet scent. I ran my fingers through her hair. I wanted to bottle up these feelings so that I could have them for the rest of the day.

When they left, I got back in my bed and cried. Why is this so hard? I guess only mothers would know. I wouldn't be able to completely empathize with this before I had kids. I think it would be just as hard if this time away from her was for three days or three months or even longer. The same feelings are there, they just may last a little longer, that's all. But they're neither less or more strong, regardless of the time away.

I closed my eyes tight and tried to remember each and every feeling we just experienced. Her head against my chest, her little fingers grabbing way too many snacks at one time out of the palm of my hand, her ponytail sticking up and tickling my cheek.

I am blessed, I am blessed, I am blessed.

Psalm 139:9-10

"If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast."

Highlights of 10/20

Today's Highlights

Doctor's report:
- Game plan: I'm to lay here for two weeks (I'd be 28 wks pregnant), when doctors will do their next assessment. (The only thing that would change that, is if my water starts to break or I have bleeding.) Through tests and ultrasound, they'll look at uterus, baby and cervix. If things look ideal, then they'll consider letting me do my bedrest at home. Or, they may wait another two weeks (30 wks pregnant) and do another assessment.
- Baby doing well. Found a few heart arrhythmia's while monitoring the baby, but not worried about them because baby is so young still and this can by typical.
- Few contractions throughout the day, but nothing to worry about.

Madison's doctor's report regarding last week's EEG
No answer yet - hope to speak to doctors tomorrow.

Other highlights...
- I got a beautiful bouquet basket of flowers from Dixon and Elaine with a teddy bear. Except, now they are not so full because a certain 16 month old decided to play with the flowers, pull apart petals and throw them on Mommy's bed.
- Nothing says "Well, you'll definitely be in here for the long-haul", like receiving a large, hearty potted plant in your hospital room. ...Thanks, Dad. Hahahahaha. I laughed out loud. It was great. I can always count on my dad to send me flowers (or plants) often throughout the years.
- I got to see Madison tonight!!!! It was wonderful - a rejuvenation and refreshing. She had a smile from ear to ear! I fed her dinner and we played on my bed. A little hard with my IV's, but oh well. I savor each moment with her, like you can't even imagine. I want to bottle up her sweet scent. I want to keep some of her curls to feel through my fingers. I want to permanently photograph in my mind all of the new teeth she's getting. I want to record her funny songs she sings. I want to be able to always feel her tiny toes. It was a great night.
- The Strep B test came back negative, so I can stop antibiotics for that. Also, my cold has gone away, too! As of tomorrow, they will probably remove my IV, i'm hoping.

My thoughts...

Mark and I can not thank you enough for all of your support. We truly covet all of your prayers, thoughts, and love. We feel blanketed in your prayers. And that has brought on such an overwhelming sense of peace amidst the chaos.

Before I go on, I must say...I have the best husband in the world. I've always known that, but this weekend proved it once again. Mark has handled all of these surprises (an engineer does NOT like surprises) and chaos (again, as an engineer, he is quite orderly) with grace and ease. I know that inside, he is thinking about his hectic work schedule, providing for our family, missing his sweet daughter, worrying about me and his unborn son. But he has never let on to me that he is stressed or worried. He never complained once last week or weekend. He helped make decisions, run errands all over town, handle phone calls, and juggle a few things at work. He left for Beaumont Sunday evening so he could go back to work. It tore his heart to leave Madison. Lord, thank you, thank you, for giving me such a wonderful husband who treats us so well.

It seems to get a bit easier each day I'm in here. Except for one thing - missing my sweet daughter and husband. I am getting used to my gray walls, a TV that doesn't always work correctly, and my small hospital bed. However, all of the beautiful flowers have absolutely brightened up my room; thank you so very much, everyone! (I keep saying I'm going to decorate this room - some throw pillows on the couch, some Halloween decorations, maybe a pink boa wrapped around my IV?)

I have been very humbled today. I feel so blessed and fortunate to have a healthy baby boy inside of me, from what they can see so far. I praise the Lord for that. It would be much more difficult being in the hospital knowing something was wrong with my baby. That would add an insurmountable amount of pain to this mountain of emotion.

Today I struggled with these thoughts, actually...almost feeling guilty. I started to feel guilty for being here. Guilty for even being sad. Guilty for worrying about our situation (I know that sounds ludicrous). Guilty that my current problems are far less worse than some pregnancies here. (There are a few women who are actually strapped to their bed in a backwards inverted position to fight off the effects of gravity on their uterus.) But I was soon reminded that there is a big reason why I'm here. Just because nothing is "wrong" with the baby now, there is certainly something not right with his living environment (aka my body) - and if he does happen to come early, he will surely have many health problems then. I realized that instead of praising God for the bits of good news we've gotten recently, I was too busy feeling "guilty" for the positive things occuring to us. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But I'm being honest here. I think that was the devil creeping in and trying to keep me from being close to God and thanking Him for what He has done today.

Thank you, Lord, that my little boy stayed inside one more day!
Thank you, Lord, for family and friends who have sent their love today.
Thank you, Lord, for the possibility I may be released sooner than we originally thought.
Thank you, Lord, that the Strep B test came back negative and my cold has gone away.
Thank you, Lord, that we did not get any bad news today.

Letters from Mommy 10/20

To my precious Madison,

Happy 16 month birthday today, sweetie!! Wow, 16 months - you are such a big girl! Mommy wishes she could be with you right now to celebrate. If I could see you right now, I'd give you kisses all over your face and we would "squeeze, squeeze, squeeze" each other in hugs. If I could see you right now, I would tickle your neck and your knees - my favorite tickle spots. If I could see you right now, I would play peek-a-boo with you under a blanket. I just got off the phone with Miss Tana and she said you have been a very good girl for everyone! I know you must be having lots of fun playing with new toys. I heard your sweet voice in the background and you started to cry because you were tired. Hearing that melted my heart. How Mommy wanted to reach through the phone and kiss your tears away. It breaks my heart that I can't do that right now, but just think of all the hugs you will get from other people who love you! Daddy also misses you so much! His heart ached when he had to leave you yesterday as you were holding onto him; he never wanted to let you go! He had a great weekend taking care of you and can't wait to see you again soon. Be a brave little girl, be good for Miss Tana and Mr Mark, and Mommy will see you really soon!

I love you,

Mommy


To my precious baby Hunter,

Have I told you how proud I am of you? You stayed inside Mommy for two more days - yay! You are growing and growing. You are such a big boy already, measuring ahead of schedule! And your favorite times of the day are when Mommy eats. You love food! Mommy is getting a lot of it here, that's for sure. And, boy, are you active. Many people here at the hospital tell Mommy how much energy you have. We've spent lots of time together today. I've been able to listen to your sweet heartbeat for most of the day and how you swim in Mommy's belly. Enjoy it while you can because soon there won't be as much room! I can see, feel and hear all of your kicks and punches. I hope you are very happy; you make your Mommy very happy. I look at your sweet face in the picture I have of you right next to me. Hunter, you continue to be a strong boy and keep enjoying yourself inside of Mommy! I will do all that I can do to keep you safe, I promise. Jesus is holding you now until Mommy and Daddy can hold you.

I love you,

Mommy

Letters from Mommy 10/18

To my precious Madison,

Last night was one of the hardest days in Mommy's life. I needed to go to the hospital to make sure your baby brother is safe, but I knew I wasn't going to see you for a long time. My heart ached because I knew how much I was going to miss your sweet smiling face. I cherished each moment with you, wishing they would last forever. I got to feed you your milk before bed time. I got to lay next to you and smell your soft skin. I got to run my fingers through your curls. I got to kiss you all over your face and play with your toes! And I sang you your favorite songs. I told you to be a very good girl for Daddy and also for Miss Tana. It makes me happy knowing you'll have so much fun playing with Hayden and all of your other friends back home. It makes me happy knowing that you'll get to see Grandma, Papa, Grandmommy and Granddaddy a whole lot over the next few months! I long for each time you will be able to come to visit Mommy. I can't wait to read to you, watch one of your videos, and see all of your new tricks! Mommy misses and loves you SO much. I look at all of your pictures each day. I will be home soon with your new baby brother and we will all be together!

I love you,

Mommy


To my precious baby Hunter,

A long time ago, Mommy and Daddy prayed so much that we would be able to have you and be your parents. We were so happy when God created you inside Mommy, that it was one of the best days of our life!! We couldn't believe it and were so joyful to God. Another exciting day was when we found out you were going to be a boy! Guess what? You are going to have a big sister. She is so much fun and you both will have a great time growing up together. Even in Mommy's tummy, I love you so much already. We are in the hospital now because the doctors want to make sure that you stay safely inside Mommy's belly so that you can grow to be a big boy! We are going to take good care of you and everything is going to be just fine. Mommy has been able to listen to your heart and all of your kicks, swims, and punches, lots! I've seen many pictures of you and you are so handsome. I'm sorry that Mommy's body is having some trouble, but I promise to do my best to keep you safe inside. Have a happy, fun time inside Mommy's belly and don't feel any hurry to come out for a long time, ok?

I love you,

Mommy

To clarify a few things...

I want to explain a few things, only because it is on my heart. No one has compelled me to explain these things, I just want to do it.

PLEASE, it is very important to me that you know I fully understand and recognize how blessed we are. I in NO way think that what we are going through now with Hunter's pregnancy, or what we went through with Madison's conception and pregnancy, or whatever we go through as a family is the worst/most difficult thing anyone has ever gone through. I understand many, including dear friends, have gone through so much worse in their lives (including their struggles with infertility, pregnancy, or their babies lives) and I do not try to negate that or rise above that. What I write about, is simply what is going on in our family's life. I absolutely recognize that although we are going through very difficult times, we are still so blessed and need to be thankful for so many reasons.

Why am I sharing these personal thoughts and details on my blog?
Firstly, because I love my family and close friends. I know they love us, too. In reading this blog, they can easily get updated information in one place. It is easy for them because they are dispersed across the country, and easy for us! Although I don't share every personal detail and some things I definitely keep private, I am comfortable with sharing the information below. It also provides a way for others to know how they can pray for us. Secondly, it feels like "good therapy" to get my thoughts on "paper". Thirdly, it is a great way for me to keep a journal where I can record all of our memories to read in the future.

That's all!

Update 10/18

I'm a little drained, but want to give an update on what's gone on thus far. This is a long post, but now that I have borrowed a computer (until I get mine next weekend), they won't be as lengthy going forward.

Last night 10/18, Mark took me to the hospital at 10 pm. It took a while to get here because I needed to make sure madison was going to be all set, in terms of doctors' info, emergency contact info, schedule listed, and lists of food and baby supplies prepared for Tana. The best part of the night was being able to spend some quality last moments at home with madison. The most difficult part was laying her down in her bed, kissing her sweet face all over, and knowing that it would be a long time until I could take care of her in the way that only Mommy's can do. Although I know that realistically, 3 months is not an extremely long period of time, right now it seems like an unfathomable eternity to me. I am looking long-term in this situation, but right now, the present-time is saturating all of my thoughts.

That night, the nurses did lots of tests. One was for Group B Strep, which is routine in any pregnancy. They won't get the results back for several days, but went ahead and started me on antibiotics to fight any possible infection that could harm the baby if he is born early. I asked why they couldn't wait until we got the results, but was told the baby could come before the results came back, and they wanted to treat me with medicine just in case. I also got two rounds of steroid shots to promote baby's lung development and try to prevent any bleeding of the brain if he is born early. (However, Hunter and I have an agreement that he is not coming until Jan 2009.) I was hooked up to a couple IV's and changed rooms twice. Long story. (This afternoon, I finally got into my own private room and thankful to now have cell reception and internet access tonight.)

This morning 10/19, I met with an associate of my Perinatologist. Her name is Dr. Adams and I'm not sure if she's taking on my case from now on or what, but sure I'll find out soon. Anyhow, she did two things: A) Explained why it took so long for me to be admitted to the hospital and B) Clearly solidified why it is necessary I am here.

Basically, out of professional courtesy and because at the time, my primary care provider was my OB, they needed to speak and consult with him, first. He doesn't work on Fridays, but they contacted him in the morning. The Peri told the OB I needed to be in the hospital and decision was agreed upon. The holdup in admitting me was because of certain policies (too many to explain); because my OB is in another city, there was a lot of red tape and hoops to be jumped through. Dr. Adams said that she stepped in and broke all the rules, but for me not to worry because I'm here and that's what counts.

Next, she solidified exactly why I need to be here. She explained why my water is at high risk of breaking. At 28-30 weeks, she ideally wants to see the baby's head decend very low into the pelvic cavity. This will actually reduce the pressure of the membranes and water that is funneled there now, trying to break through. How? The broad surface of his head will help to displace that pressure and distribute it away from the cervix (physics). However, if he is breech, or worse, if his foot is down there, the risk of water breaking will still be very high. She compared it to if she were to step on my foot, I'd rather her use a flat tennis shoe than a spikey high heel. The high heel (i.e. baby's pointy foot) would do more damage. If baby is decended deep with head down at that time, the risk of water breaking will diminish completely and she said I MAY be able to go home and resume bed rest there!!! That was wonderful news to hear, although I know it is no guarantee. Many factors involved and things change daily, so we'll just go with the flow. Still, it was good to hear some potentially good news. She heard me couging a little because of a small cold I caught when I got to Houston and stopped mid-sentence to ask me about it. Apparently, coughing can cause water to break. Who knew? They immediately started me on cough suppressant, antibiotic, and regular respiratory breathing treatments. I really don't sound bad at all, but evidentally everyone here wants that to be taken care of and gone asap. Good news is I can at least get out of bed still to go to the restroom by myself, thank God. So, I'm not totally strapped to this bed...

Baby has been monitored several times a day. Hunter is moving around regularly, heartbeat is strong and no contractions whatsoever, so those are great signs.

The Peri sent the Neonatologist into speak with me for about 45 minutes and sign paperwork, etc. She needed to tell me what to expect if we have a 26 or 27 week old baby and to prepare me for what could occur. It was very in-depth and to the point. Because we had either been exposed to or gone through many of the issues, procedures and tests when Madison was in the NICU, it did not come as a shock to me and I wasn't frightened as one would be hearing it for the first time. If a baby is born at 23-24 weeks here, they have about a 60-70% rate of survival. However, leading cause of death is infection, which is easy to occur. Survival rates dramatically go up each week the baby can stay in Mommy's tummy. If born now, the main issues are lung development, bleeding/fluid on brain, apnea and vision damage. Another issue may be digestive. Strict procedures set in place for each issue. It is amazing to me how the human body is so incredibly intracate. God is so awesome. We can't even grasp the compexity of the human body and easily take for granted how much goes on while growing a life in our belly. How great is it that God has allowed advancements in technology and medical research so that doctors can even try to heal pre-term babies.

Bottom line, we want Hunter to stay in to at least 32 weeks old. 34 is even better. 35 would be great. And so forth, especially because he's a little boy and needs longer to develop.

Today was a long day, but emotionally, much better than yesterday. I was thrilled to receive 3 beautiful bouquets of flowers!!! Thank you Craig and Celia, thank you Shelly and Trista, and thank you Jon, Mary and Vera!!! You don't know how that brightened my day and my little room. :) Also, our Beaumont neighbors Craig and Celia visited with me for about an hour here! It was wonderful. The best part of the day was being able to see Mark and Madison this evening. They stayed for about 3 hrs. I got to hold Madison next to me in bed, brush my fingers through her hair, talk to her, see her run around and climb on anything she could possibly climb on. It was the best feeling. Of course, it was hard to see them go. So, so hard. But I'm thankful for that time.

I'm thankful for the time I got to spend with Madison and Mark today.
I'm thankful for the loving and supportive friends, family and strangers who have showed they care in so many ways.
I'm thankful for those who will be and are currently taking care of my daughter.
I'm thankful for Mark, who is sacrificing so much right now.
I'm thankful that we have insurance and Mark has a good job.
I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can receive the best medical care.
I'm thankful my baby boy stayed inside one more day today.
I'm thankful that God is leading the way.

Update 5 pm

Madison's EEG went well. She screamed while they put the leads over her head, but Mark got her quieted down a few minutes after they were finished with that part. In two minutes, she fell asleep. Thank the Lord! They were able to get through the whole procedure. Mark wasn't able to talk to a doctor today, but was told we'll get the results back by Mon/Tues and will get a call from her doctor. So thankful it went well and anxious to know further info.

I'm going into Woman's hospital of Texas, Houston tonight. My heart is so torn. I know this is best, of course. It's just hard to see and leave my little girl for so long. I know it's just temporary, but right now, 3 months seem so long. And I think of all the little things I won't be able to do with and for her as the holidays approach. Even just simply to comfort her when she needs it. I think I need her more than she needs me, though! :) She will be in great hands, we know. Friends and family are coming together to help us. Mark was able to get the weekend off. Madison will stay with Tana in Houston this week. My mom will fly in on Friday. Mark will pick them up in Houston and take them to Bmt. Mom will stay until Nov. 26th. Mark's parents are flying in Nov. 25th and will stay til Dec. 19th. My mom will fly in Dec 19th and stay - not sure how long. That's the plan as of now.

Baby Hunter 26 weeks

Update 10/17 1 pm

Family and friends,

This is the easiest way for me to let you know what's going on. Yesterday's appointment did not go well. The baby is just fine, but in danger of going into delivery.

First the good news:
Baby is measuring 1 week 2 days ahead of schedule in growth.
Baby is 2 lbs 3 oz
All organs look good and heartbeat strong
We got two pictures in 3D! It was amazing and I'll post when possible.

Not so good news:
Cervix has continued to shorten and begun to dilate. Basically, my water is on the verge of breaking at any time. Membranes and fluid have assumed the funneling shape against the inside of the cervix that is indicative of when a woman's water is going to break.
It is too early for baby to be born and would likely not survive. Especially because he is a MALE baby and caucasian - their lungs take the longest to develop.

OB wants me admitted to the hospital in Houston for remainder of pregnancy. Necessary to be in Houston because if baby is born early, he will receive best care at these facilities. Beaumont doesn't have level 3 NICU (where baby would need to be) and if born in Beaumont, he would have to be life flighted to Houston. So, best I stay here. Want me to get to 32 weeks (I'm 26 weeks now) at least, but pray we get to see January of 2009! Perinatologist will assume role of my primary doctor now. Waiting to get call from him to see which hospital to go to.

Mark is with Madison right now at her apt at Texas Childrens. Killing me to not be able to be there with her to comfort her. We are currently setting up plans in place for someone/s to take care of Madison over the next three months. Challenging with Mark's busy work schedule, currently. Very, very difficult emotionally for me and stressful for Mark, too. Have shed many, many tears about this unexpected news. Although we know it's best to think longterm and most important to do what's best and safest to get our son here safely, it is still very hard not to get sad and think about so many things in the present. I can't imagine being away from my daughter for three months. Yet I know this is a drop in the bucket for giving her happinness with a sibling for the rest of her life. A sacrifice we will of course make for our son. As hard as it is, I can't help but immediately think that there are many women who would gladly trade places with me just to even have a baby. We are so, so blessed.

Right now, we are walking in the hands of God. Actually, I don't have the strength to walk. He's just pushing us along, really carrying us. We trust he'll provide a way through this and guide us. Please pray for decisions being made over the weekend regarding the hospital admission, that Hunter stays in my belly as long as possible, and that all works out for Madison/Mark.

Either myself or my friend Tana will update you again regarding Madison's apt and further news. We have heavy hearts now, but are very hopeful and appreciate your support and prayers.

Love,

Danae

Playing outside

Before we head to Houston for the next two days, I wanted to post some pictures of us playing outside - Madison's absolute favorite thing to do. She is most definitely an outdoorsy girl. She has started kicking a ball and LOVES any type of rocks she can get her hands on.

Please pray for us this week. I have a Perinatal apointment tomorrow, downtown Houston. On Friday, Madison has an appointment at Texas Children's Hospital downtown Houston. She has had a certain type of involuntary head twitch (not for the past month, however), mainly since she got her tubes put in her ears, but sometimes it happened before. The pediatrician thinks it is probably behavioral, caused by her ears, but wants her to get an EEG to check for any seizural activity. The procedure will be difficult and prep for it will be a challenge...keeping her awake as many hrs as possible, then trying to get her to fall asleep for the procedure where they attach many probes to her head??? Yeah, right - one year olds don't fall asleep on demand. Anyway, please keep us in your prayers this week. God is keeping us safe in His loving hands.

Church Pumpkin Patch

Playing with my great friend, Avery.
Miss Jamie has a cool bubble blower!
Sharing a seat with Avery

Go N.C. State!!!

All settled at home

Madison loves trucks...and playing with Zander and Elijah in Portland (Dave's cousin's kids)
Madison had nightly piano lessons with Papa...and he let her interrupt him whenever she wanted to, even if he was in the middle of composing music.
Madison's feet print as ghosts for Grammy's first pumpkin


Using Madison's handprints as a spider for Grammy's second pumpkin.

Madison's pink cowgirl boots - so funny to see her run in them.

All ready for school! Each Thursday, the kids wear their school t-shirts.

25 Weeks pregnant!

I think I'm almost as big here as I was when Madison was born! Although to date, according to the doctor's office, I've gained 8 lbs this pregnancy.

We are now fully settled back home in Beaumont. My, it feels great to be back home, although we do miss my family so much! My mom flew back with me and helped with the cat, Madison, and all our stuff - we were a traveling circus. She stayed for a few days and helped me tremendously. We organized closets, put away Madison's small clothes and got out new clothes for her, got out my seasonal decorations, and cleared the room that is now our office. We intend to sell the office furniture (so beautiful, but we'll have nowhere to put it) to make room for Hunter's nursery. We'll keep the other bedroom as our guest room.

Our week was filled with doctor's appointments, errands, phone calls, laundry, etc. Lots to do. I had an apt with my OB. Everything is fine. Had a fetal fibernectin test which came back negative (that's what we want to see). He wants to see me once a week now.

Madison had her 15 month checkup at the Pediatrician's office. All went very well and she's right on track developmentally, etc. She weighs just under 27 lbs and is 34" tall. She is at 100% for her height and 95% for her weight. The doctor said she is ideally proportionate and his advice was to buy her a basketball now...so that one day she may get a scholarship to college with it. :) Wouldn't we love that?

Mad is running, and I mean running, all around now. She just goes and goes. So much energy. She loves playing with Daddy in the evenings. They play chase and peek-a-boo and dance when "Dancing With The Stars" is on TV. She loves him so much. And, of course, she's the apple of his eye. We had a rough time two days this week in school...Madison did wonderfully the first day back, but the last two days, she cried when I left her and then cried again when she saw me to pick her up again. It killed me! It just ripped my heart out of my chest. I hated to see her cry and prayed that God would take her tears away. I know the best thing for me to do is just to keep taking her - and in time, she'll get used to the routine. She only goes for 2 1/2 hrs, as I pick her up after lunch, before their naptime. I take her home so she can nap longer here.

Next week is a busy week as well. Madison and I are getting our flu shots. We'll be in Houston for a few days as well for appointments. More on that later...we're off to another pumpkin patch with Daddy!

Oh, it was time for a new look in the header of our blog. Can't use the pink baby carriage any longer! Lindsay from Splatter Paint kindly revised the image - notice the double stroller? Super cute.

We're going home tomorrow!

Yes, we are finally going home to Texas tomorrow! I am so excited to see Mark again and I know he is also anxious to see Madison, too. However, I'm really sad to leave my family here. I mean, all the help with Madison was SO nice! And, my mom cooked most nights and did most of my laundry - what a treat! Also, who's going to be my reality TV buddy now that I'm leaving Sarah? Madison is certainly going to miss all of the attention she got from Aunt Sarah, (future) Uncle Dave, and Grammy and Papa. Here, Madison has learned so many new things...she now "sings", she plays peek-a-boo and patty cake by herself, she blows kisses, she gives kisses, she finally pets (not grabs) dogs and cats, and she is now running. But now, with excited but sad hearts, we'll go back to reality and back to our life back in Texas. At least we'll be with Mark again and see our old friends.

I had a doctor's apt yesterday (I originally thought it was on Monday, but it was actually on Tuesday). We got a better report than the prior week, so yipee! The doctor gave approval for me to travel home. He said the measurement of the cervix is still in somewhat of a danger zone, but not as bad as last week. I'm not on bedrest, but just told to continue to take it easy. I have also started weekly injections to help ward off my contractions and continued shortening of the cervix. No problem there - Mark and I are very used to giving/receiving shots!! I mean, we did it for almost 4 months straight with Madison's conception/pregnancy. Anyhow, I feel just fine and all is well with little Hunter.

Plumper Pumpkin Patch

Today we went to another nearby pumpkin patch. The view with all the rolling hills, the flowers and plants were just beautiful. There were lots of stuff for kids to do - slides, play structures, a hay maze (Madison's favorite) and a petting zoo. We bought some fresh veggies and another pumpkin. The weather was gorgeous and we had a great time.