Update 3/19

Happy Birthday, Mark!!! 31...finally as old as me. hahaha. I'll always be the older woman in your life... I love you, baby.

Things are going...well, they're going. Madison is happy as ever and enjoying school so much this week that she hasn't wanted to come home with me when I go to pick her up. She has been sleeping so much lately that I wonder if she's going through a growth spurt. Her very favorite show, "Dancing with the Stars" is finally back on and she dances with Daddy to EVERY song. I mean, every song. She'll grab his hand each time, especially to the fast songs, and plead with him to pick her up and dance. She spins and spins and makes herself dizzy. She also has enjoyed watching "American Idol" as well.

Hunter is growing so much. Can't fit into any of his cute newborn size clothes any longer, only the 0-3 month clothes. We are so grateful for all the gifts we've received - especially since I hadn't been able to get out shopping prior to his birth! And with his reflux, we tend to go through clothes (and laundry detergent) often. Poor little man. He is a mama's boy. He's my little buddy. It kills me how badly he hurts sometimes. You can just hear the reflux in his chest and throat. I'm so glad we're going to the Children's Hospital next week.

Mark has been working so much. He is on a 13 day on/1 day off shift. He goes into work at about 5 am and gets home at about 8 pm. He must be exhausted. So now days, I'm a "single parent with financial assistance", I call myself.

I think I just really need more sleep. That would help, tons. My neighbor has been wonderful taking Hunter three afternoons a week for a few hours so I can nap when Madison naps. But with his reflux, feeding him can be so time consuming. Up to two hours at most! Usually just 45 mins, though. I don't have a lot of time for anything else besides taking care of Madison, doing laundry, and trying to sleep when I can. Again, I apologize for any delinquency in thank you note or blog posting. I promise to catch up.

I was feeling really well the past few weeks, but then started feeling fragile again a few days ago. I didn't know where this sadness was coming from. I was so frustrated it was coming back. I just want to snap my fingers and everything to get better, but I know it is a "season". Meaning, it will eventually get better, but not immediately. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but that light needs to get a little brighter! I saw my doctor again yesterday, routinely, and he changed my medication a bit. I also think it would be wise to seek counsel from someone who specializes in post partum. So, I will do that soon. The doctor said the depression is not getting worse because I am still very much bonded to my baby. The anxiety has gotten better. It's going to go up and down. It just sucks to have to live with it now. I just cried and cried yesterday. I felt so lost. But today is a new day and the Lord brings joy to me. Thank you, Lord.

Better go. Am picking up my sister from the airport. She'll be here for a week. Love you guys and thank you for your prayers.